For the last few months, in addition to the newsletter published every Thursday I have been sending a Monday Newsletter to a small but very cherished band of paid subscribers, to whom I am deeply indebted.
This was more of a magazine type of publication, with short form snippets of news and photos of my garden, country life, art and other topics, sent via e-mail but not published on my home page.
Last week I found myself wondering why I was feeling a bit like a spoon stuck in treacle. I am extremely lucky to have accumulated a wonderful group of subscribers, generous enough with their time and emotions to comment, offering encouragement and always extremely kind and supportive. But still something was missing.
The only reason I could think of for feeling a little less than energised was I wasn’t doing enough of the thing I started on Substack to do in the first place, which was write. The Ageing Optimist came about six months ago because I wanted to write, it really is as simple as that. After a decade of posting pretty pictures on Instagram, although I was happy there mainly because of the great bunch people I had met over the years, I started to feel boxed in, as though I had made myself a prisoner to my own squares full of photos of my cottage garden. I wanted to express myself more, through writing, on a variety of interests and subjects, not just the garden I love.
Although my garden is a huge part of my life and always will be, I want to explore where the written, and sometimes spoken word can take me. Seek new adventures with poetry, interview interesting people about their lives on the podcast and learn to be unafraid of tackling sensitive subjects, sometimes of a personal nature. After a lot of thought and a little hand wringing over the weekend I have decided to replace the Monday Newsletter with more long form content which will be emailed to paid subscribers as usual but will also be published under a pay wall on my page.
I am very, very grateful for all subscribers, whether free or paid, especially those who contribute to The Ageing Optimsist community with their thoughtful responses and comments. I hope that this space, although a place of self-expression for me, also brings some joy, something to think about and a sense of community to those who read or listen to my words, after all you are the most important people here and the reason I put pen to paper (which still sounds more romantic than fingers on keyboard).
Times are really, really tough at the moment so I fully appreciate £5.00 per month is not an option for some people but for anyone who enjoys The Ageing Optimist and would not miss just over a pound a week from their budget, an upgrade to a paid subscription would be very much appreciated, a huge boost and would help me grow the currently intermittent podcast section of the page.
I would be very surprised if anyone but the steeliest hearted on Substack are comfortable broaching the subject of money. Talking about money can and does feel embarrassing, awkward, shaming even, but, although I cannot speak for anyone else, mostly very embarrassing. Thoughts of ‘I’m not worth it’ constantly bubble to the surface, along with other confidence knocking sentiments not to mention imposter syndrome which is always lingering about in the shadows. The list of reasons to brush it under the carpet, along with quite a few other subjects, is excruciatingly endless.
I know there are hundreds just like me who are working hard at trying to find a place in this competitive world, spending long hours of their time trying to keep their subscribers engaged and entertained but largely failing to convince their readers that their efforts are worthy of even a small donation mainly because they are too afraid or embarrassed to ask.
So there, I have ticked off my ‘Be More Courageous’ box and asked. Hopefully politely and without offending anyone.
The Thursday Newsletter available for all to read will not be changing from its usual eclectic mix of topics, hopefully entertaining and thought provoking in equal measure. Look out for me more on Notes, I need to get up to speed with my short form content too whilst writing more personal stories for paid subscribers and continuing to grow a space where every Ageing Optimist feels included and welcome.
For this week’s newsletter I am delving again into the world of poetry which is fast becoming something of an obsession.
The poem ‘Death Amongst the Flowers’ was inspired by the remains of a blackbird I found in the garden on Friday. He had obviously crashed into the glass of the kitchen window some weeks before, a sad end to a life but nevertheless a life to be celebrated. The blackbird’s song is one of the highlights of each morning here at the cottage, the most beautiful voice from the least showy creature in the garden.
With my very best wishes and thanks for taking a few minutes out of your day to read this newsletter. Have a very good week ahead.
Love Lindsey x
All Change on the Monday Front